Week 1 Diary

The eating plan I am on consists of protein, carbs (good carbs) and a limited amount of fat.  I am to absolutely avoid: rice, pasta, bread, chips, potatoes, bananas, melons etc.  Basically, all the foods I love.  The break down of the meals are as follows:

Breakfast...3-5 oz of protein and a good carb (fruit, veggies, etc)
Snack option
Lunch...same as breakfast
Snack option
Dinner...same as breakfast
Snack option (as needed)

Day 1:
Breakfast: Protein Shake
Snack: Greek Yogurt Plain (80 calories)
Lunch: Salmon  and Broccolli/Cauiflower
Snack: 12 grapes
Dinner: Salmon and Broccoli/Cauliflower
Snack (4-6 pork rinds)
Liquid: Water, Flavored Water and Diet 0 Calorie Green Tea

Day 2:
Breakfast: Cottage cheese and 12 grapes
Snack: Greek Yogurt Plain (80 calories)
Lunch: Salmon and Broccoli/Carrots
Snack: Protein Shake
Dinner: Salmon and Broccoli/Carrots
Snack: 6 pork rinds

Day 2 Reflection:  An issue that I normally have is becoming bored with the meal plan, but I don't see that being the case this time around.  I am really exploring different recipe ideas and food options to ensure that boredom doesn't creep in.  Since I will be eating Salmon this first week, I am looking into chicken and steak for week 2.  Also, since pizza is my absolute favorite food and I would normally splurge on the weekend; I have found a low-carb healthy alternative that I plan to try.  Cauliflower pizza is the substitute and from what I have seen, it doesn't seem difficult to make. 

Day 3:
Breakfast: Protein Shake and Grapes
Snack: Greek Yogurt Plain
Lunch: Salmon and Broccolli/Carrots
Snack: String Cheese
Dinner: Salmon and grapes (ran out of veggies and grapes are on the good carbs list)
Late night Snack: Carrots/String Chees/4-6 pork rinds I was really hungry for some reason

Day 4:
Breakfast: Protein Shake and Grapes
Snack: Greek Yogurt Plain
Snack: 50 calorie jalapeno sting cheese
Lunch:
Dinner: Steak and Veggies

So, moment of transparency.  I went out Friday night and I did drink, which is what I planned on doing. My drink of choice was rum and diet coke.  My downfall was later in the evening on my way home I stopped by taco bell and had a taco supreme and an order of nachos.  Now, this is less than what I would normally eat, but I allowed myself to fall back into my old habits.  I knew what I was doing and despite my end goal I decided to eat the wrong thing anyway.  A little thing I like to call self-sabotage.  I recognized it, acknowledged it and have decided to move forward.  I have realized there will be many setbacks during this journey, but I will not allow them to deter me from the goal, which is a healthier me.

Day 5:
Breakfast: Protein Shake
Lunch: Steak
Snack: Grapes
Dinner: 2 chicken wings and a salad


Day 6:
Breakfast: Protein Shake
Lunch: Light protein snacks
Dinner: Protein Breakfast Casserole

Day 7 and beyond is when it gets tricky.  I have company in town for the next 7 days and it will be a challenge to stay 100% on track.  I do plan to continue to be very active and somewhat strict with my diet, while allowing for slight indulging.  Will keep you posted.  One last thing, my official weigh in will be Monday, October 24th at the doctor's office.

Frustrations...

I find myself getting frustrated because of my unrealistic expectation to lose weight quickly.  I know it took a while for me to get to this size, but now that I am ready to get healthy I want the weight to fall off daily.  Unrealistic, I know.  I am just trying to remain patient.  I just can't allow myself to stay at this weight or gain more.  I say this all the time, but I am beyond ready to be healthy.  Honestly, I am truly tired of being overweight.  It is just too exhausting to walk around with all this extra weight.  I will have to find a way to not obsess to the point of expecting fast results, but also obsess enough to stay on track. I will find my balance and I will be successful.  At this point, I have no other choice.

Still Trying to Get Right...

So, it has been a year since I wrote and I am so embarrassed to admit that I am in exactly the same place I was last year.  It just hit me that if I would have stayed committed, I could have surpassed my goal and been in maintenance phase at this time. I swear, one day I will conquer this addiction to food and apparent inability to commit to a healthier lifestyle. And to add insult to injury, I actually lost about 17 pounds earlier this year.  I was doing great; exercising 6-7 days a week for about an hour or more and my eating was superb.  Well, like normal I became frustrated and stopped.  I guess I felt as though the working out wasn't making a difference so I quit, which sent me back to where I started.  I am just completely sick and tired of this self-imposed cycle I keep allowing to continue.

I wholeheartedly admit it is no one's fault but mine. I realize this is a lot tougher than I thought.  I am in no way shape or form making excuses, but I have an addiction; a sickness.  The last thing I want is to balloon so out of control that I need surgery.  So, I am now participating in a weight loss program that my doctor recommended.  I am excited because I know that I have better results when I have to remain accountable to someone other than myself.  But, my reservations are a result of the no carb menu.  This always scares me because I balloon when I eat carbs again.  I keep telling myself to focus on the now and losing the weight.  I will worry about the maintenance phase once I get there.

I really feel as though this is my last resort.  The doctor even suggested lap band and I have to admit that scared me straight.  I cannot believe I have let myself go this much.  Surgery will never be an option for me, if I can help it, so I have no choice but to try again.  I have a few challenges because I have company coming in town and I know that will consist of  a lot of eating out. But, I know what I can and cannot eat so I will have to remain strong regardless of the difficulty.

I might as well be all the way honest; my current weight is 242 pounds.  I am so ashamed, bu this further proves I have a lot of work to do.  I will be keeping a weekly diary of what I eat to remain accountable.  Wish me luck!