Day 3-4

I weighed myself again this morning and I am down 4 pounds since yesterday; this brings my total up to 7 pounds, so far. I am beyond excited and motivated that I am actually seeing a difference.  It shows me that I must do my part in order for this to work.  I am capable of being disciplined and following a healthier eating plan. 

Now, I must admit that I did have moments where I wanted nothing more than a whopper from Burger King. I kept seeing the commercials and yearned to taste one. I just keep revisiting the feeling that I had at the white party I mentioned earlier, and I am quickly brought back to reality.

In an effort to not be obsessive, I will not weigh myself again until Friday or Saturday.  In the beginning, I feel it is necessary for me to weigh myself so I can determine if the plan is working or if I need to make adjustments. Since I am aware that it is working, at this time, there is no need to weigh in everyday. After week 1, I will determine how often I should conduct weigh-ins.

Menu:

Breakfast: Shake
Snack: Carrots
Lunch: Chicken and broccoli
Snack: orange
Dinner: Shake
Snack (if hungry at night): a few sliced pickles
1 gallon of water

Day 4:
Down a total of 8.4 pounds.  I know I didn't keep my word about not weighing myself, but I had to.  I plan to weigh myself again on Saturday and then on Monday to obtain week 1 results. I have also been exercising daily.  I walk a little over a mile at work everyday, just to clear my head.  I also do the elliptical or treadmill for an hour.  Recently I added weights and squats.  My goal is to eventually get a trainer or join a gym soon.

Breakfast: Shake
Snack: Carrots
Lunch: Turkey burger patty with shredded cheese on top and broccoli
Snack: Cheese bites and grapes
Dinner: Cauliflower Pizza

Day 2

I know this is water weight, but I am down 3 pounds this morning.  I will take the weight loss any way I can get it at this point. 

What I ate:
Breakfast: Protein Shake
Snack: 2 boiled eggs
Lunch: Baked Chicken with broccoli
Dinner: Shake
Snack: carrots and celery
1 gallon of water

Day 1

So, I have decided to start off eating really light.  My meals consist of protein shakes and fruits./veggies and protein.  Day 1 was a success and I am feeling motivated to keep going.  I am doing this with a friend, so we are keeping each other on track and providing one another with updates.

Day 1:
Breakfast: Protein Shake
Snack: 2 boiled eggs
Lunch: Chicken breast and broccoli
Dinner: Protein Shake
Snack: celery and carrots
1 gallon of water

I am constantly reminding myself that it is about nourishment and not taste.  It is difficult to reprogram my thinking when it comes to food, but it is necessary if I want to be successful.  I want to, of course, lose weight for health reasons; but, I also want to drop some pounds in order to look better in my clothing.  Vain...maybe, but true!  I want to feel confident again.  I have noticed that with this weight gain my confidence has decreased significantly.  I know the way I feel about myself shouldn't be based upon my weight, but unfortunately it is.  Like I stated earlier, I am working on my mental health as well; so, this will definitely be addressed during this process.

Starting over...for the 100th time

I know it has been a while since I have written here, but I am sure you can guess what that means.  I have failed miserably with my weight loss goals and here I am again, for the 100th time, attempting to get it right.  Fall down seven times, stand up 8.  That is what I keep telling myself in order to stay focused.  It doesn't matter how many times I fall, as long as I continue to get up and keep fighting.

As I have stated previously, I have a vey unhealthy relationship with food. Instead of using food as nourishment, I use it to make me feel better.  I would definitely classify myself as an emotional eater and would be remiss to not admit that I have a bit of a food addiction. I know that I have to tackle this part of the problem, in order to finally be successful.  I can exercise and eat healthy until I am blue in the face, but if I don't implement strategies to deal with the underlying issues I will continue to live this vicious cycle of gaining and losing weight.

So, here I am again. What exactly does that mean, this time around? I am going to implement healthier eating and a strenuous exercise program into my plan. I actually plan to get a trainer to help me target certain areas and to ensure I am achieving a total body work out during my gym sessions. I also plan to really get to the bottom of my emotional eating and attempt to find other ways to cope.  I will be putting forth effort into my mental, as well as, physical health. 

Also, I wanted to share an experience that I had this past weekend that finally made me realize I must get it together.  This experience was the catalyst for my willingness to try and be successful this time around.  I went to an all-white party with a group of ladies this past weekend.  Now, leading up to the white party I felt happy, confident and proud of my outfit.  But, as the event drew nearer I started to realize that my outfit didn't look so good on me.  You see, I am the type of person to wear a lot of dark colors because I feel as though it helps hide my problem areas and allows me a sense of comfort.  As I started to get my outfit together, I realized that with white there is no hiding or covering up problem areas.  It leaves you very exposed.  And I started to panic and did everything I could to get out of attending this party.  But, I had paid a pretty penny for my ticket and couldn't fathom throwing that money away.  So, I decided I am the reason I am in this situation and I need to deal with it.  So, as I met with the other ladies and started to see how great they looked in their outfits and nice their bodies were, I felt horrible! I felt like a beached whale and more uncomfortable than I had ever felt in my life. 

I wanted nothing more than to go home and hide in my room, as I tend to do, when I am feeling fat.  But, I decided to use this moment as motivation.  I keep thinking back to how I felt that night and I don't ever want to revisit that feeling again.  I was so uncomfortable and insecure and it took everything in me not to burst out in tears.  Again, I had to remind myself that I am the one who created this problem and it will be up to me to fix it.

So, here we are yet again for the 100th time.  Although I have been here many times before, I truly feel different this time around.  But, talk is cheap.  I will be updating with my progress weekly, and that will include successes and any failures.  Wish me luck!